Tuesday, December 27, 2011

I Finally Cried

So Christmas is finally over. Whew, I escaped not too badly scathed (money wise) that is but mentally it just brought back memories of a painful childhood. Times when I was too afraid to cry, too afraid to say I am not OK. So I learned long ago to smile a little too much, laugh a little louder. All to hide my pain. They say when one is wounded then crying heals those wounds. Thinking to myself now that maybe the reason it took me a long time to heal was because I never allowed myself to cry. I kept it all in. Only telling the pages of my diary secrets I allowed to continuously dirty my soul. Older (Not old lol) but yes older and a little bit wiser, I now know that it's OK to cry. It's OK to say no, I am not OK!

This reflection I wrote when my soul was finally able to do just that. Cry.




Reflection from Blueberry State of Mind, a collection of reflective truths, Missy Smith
http://www.amazon.com/-/e/B005EGKDQG


                                                                 I Finally Cried

Walking through the door

Addressing no one

Simply going straight to that place of calm

My room

Falling backwards onto my awaiting queen sized bed

Fully dressed ‘cept for kicked off shoes exposing my stocking feet

Letting loose what I for years kept held back

I finally cried

Not full on tears

Slight trickles at first

Then more

Like a dam overflowing its banks

Soaking me completely

So many tears until my vision became blurred

So in turn, I closed my eyes as it allowed the tears to flow in unison

Never bothering reaching for tissues

I just let them fall

One by One

See I cried because I needed too

Crying for all the years I let pain control me

For times when I was too afraid to live

I cried for the damage upon my soul abusers inflicted

I cried because I was so tired of being tired

I cried for letting myself be used

For letting life get so far ahead of me

I cried for losing my way amongst this directionless place

I cried because the love of my life decided he no longer loved me

I cried because love lost her faith in me

I cried because my innocence so long ago was taken

I cried because I allowed myself to become trapped inside myself

Becoming lost and confused, lonely and abused

I cried because I was empty

I cried because I wanted to feel whole again

I cried because it was the only truthful thing I could control doing

Yes, this day here I cried

I cried for my fathers love

I cried because the only man to ever love me (my Grandfather) was no longer earthly here

I cried for my mother to be mentally alive again

I cried because I too was a mother

I cried because I will never be again that very mother

I cried because I grew up too soon

I cried because I did not know which road to travel upon

I cried because it hurt so damn bad

The pain deeply embedded inside my broken heart

I cried because the man I loved though gone still held my soul

I cried because tomorrow will bring back these very same memories

I cried because I wanted to be free

I cried because I realized in this moment of crying that I was releasing

Cleansing my soul of all life’s toxins

I cried because I was finally OK

Saturday, December 24, 2011

As I Lay

As I Lay
Author Reflectionist Missy Smith
All rights reserved

As I lay

In a puddle of seduction

In the middle of insecurities

Right next to confusion

On top of emotions drifting bliss

In and out
Out and in

I lay continuously in his midst

Sweet surrender

I dance freely

Greedily consuming even the weakest part of me

Licking lips

Caressing cheeks

Wiping tears

That falls constantly

Joys and pains

Both seemingly the same

Enveloping every bit of me

As I lay

In a puddle of seduction

In the middle of insecurities

Right next to confusion

On top of emotions drifting bliss

In and out
Out and in

I lay continuously in his midst

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

I want tonight....

When love wishes to grab hold, never letting go.
When the hands of time chooses to keep you trapped.
When misery loves your company.
When your heart simply does not know how to let go.

You have to take a stand, fight through the tears, fears and aloneness to take back the most important thing ever. YOU!

Author Reflectionist Missy Smith


I want tonight

To be the night

That you,

Don’t say you want to kiss me when you really don’t

Don’t say you want to hold me when you really wont

Don’t say you love me when you know you don’t

Don’t say it feels so right when it’s really wrong

Don’t say forever when it’s actually today

Don’t play don’t play

Please, don’t play

Don’t take my heart for it’s not for sale

Give me forever only if you can

Give me tomorrow after tomorrow after tomorrow

Love's bleeding pleas of sorrow

Unexpected your semi rejection

Never understood you being half in

Half out

I'm totally out

My mind

Behind this loss of time

Loss of reason

Loss of rhyme

Tortures winds

Blowing

I'm dancing in the midst of pains bliss

Half in

Half out

Stuck in-between self doubt

Should I,

Should I not

Totally let go?

Monday, December 5, 2011

Hold Me

I long to be held

I was never held cept for when I was a child

My pop pop skeet would hold me for hours

I was a mere child, bout 7 I suppose when he showed me held love

Placed upon his knee, giddy cuz my pop pop loved me

He was a powerful and strong man in nature though not in stature

But it didn't matter cuz to a child (me) he was everything needed

But he's gone now and I miss him so much, even my own father, his son never held me. Never said he loved me. I was never the love of his life like I was of my pop pops, his father I wish u were still here pop pop to hold me again. to show me that love I have never in my lifetime experienced. I just wish someone would hold me (like pop pop) for old time’s sake...

How did I get here?

Back into this state of unsaving grace?

It hurts so badly.

Raw with emotion

I'm 6 again

I'm 7, 8, and 9,10,11,12

Cold, confused, misused

Beggar of Please

Screamer of why me

As I turn the pages of my diary

My best friend,

My minds savior

Inking truths one after another

Dreams, desires, fictional satires

Am I asleep?

Just a moment ago I was happy

I was happy

I was HAPPY damnit

Stop happening upon me

Leave me alone

I got rid of you long ago

Stop wreaking havoc on my fragile soul

I'm 6

I'm 7, 8, and 9,10,11,12

Hold me please.

Thursday, December 1, 2011

Biography of Missy Smith

http://bookstore.xlibris.com/Products/SKU-0091314050/default.aspx

Missy Smith, A Reflectionist hailed as the voice of now, has finally embraced her soul's journey as a Reflectionist, the term given to her by her late Grandmother. Missy known for taking moments staring off into the world she wished she could live peacefully in found this method to be relaxing. Born in Washington D.C. in the 70's, Missy was a happy and energetic child who loved using words in very descriptive manners.

Missy experienced the horrors of abuse at the tender age of six, which threw her into a world of utter turmoil. Unable to cope with being abused by two male uncles, Missy developed an alter personality to help deal with being abused leading to the name Missy Smith. It would be six more exhausting and brutal years before Missy was finally strong enough to say NO more. During those times, Missy used her mind to escape these horrific moments thus leading her to fantasize about places much happier than the one she resided in. Missy was in the fifth grade when her English teacher realized her talents of writing. Encouraged by her way of story telling, he bestowed Missy with her first journal, which she aptly titled "Blueberry State of Mind".

As a teenager, Missy kept adding more and more to her journal. Stories of lost and found love, abuse and the dysfunction of her family. At 13 Missy became depressed remembering losing her childhood to abuse. She started lashing out at anyone who crossed her path. Writing and school became her solace from her shameful world. Writing began to consume Missy as she wrote about everything stemming from her pain. At 16, Missy dropped out of school altogether as her mind started taking a turn for the worse. Running with the wrong crowd brought about destructive behaviors.

Becoming a mother during her teenage years brought a calming sense to her chaotic soul. Her son, the love of her life was the determining factor that made Missy reevaluate her life. It was then Missy decided with the help and guidance of her mother to go back to school getting her high school diploma. Upon receiving her diploma, Missy took any and every job just to make sure her son wanted for nothing.

Still, the writing she at times began putting on the back burner beckoned her, upon letting friends know how much she enjoyed writing, they encouraged Missy to take a chance and begin the process of publishing her emotional truths. With journals in hand, Missy sought out to make this dream of past her reality now. Since changing her name during her teenage years, Missy decided to stick to writing under the name Missy Smith that brought comfort to her.

Missy began studying the works of Maya Angelou, Nikki Giovanni, Rita Dove, Gwendolyn Brooks and Ai; it was their words that gave Missy the strength to now share hers. Maya and Nikki were the closest to her style of writing and so with pride Missy decided to simply take that leap of faith and begin contacting publishing houses. With no one immediately clamoring for her brand of writing, Missy decided self-publishing was her best option. Once again, with the support and guidance of her mother, Missy began compiling some of her most heartfelt "Reflections" that are now in her book Blueberry State of Mind, a collection of reflective truths.

A Reflectionist who not only wrote poetry, Missy also lived the very poems gracing her books pages.

With the publishing of her book, Missy now wishes to fulfill other dreams. Dreams of writing a movie based on the very book Blueberry State of Mind. Missy wishes to increase the spotlight on abuse of every form. From sexual to relationship abuse and yes even family abuse, she wishes to bring awareness to all about this disheartening trend.

One of Missy's favorite poems penned by Ms. Angelou is Phenomenal Woman. Missy also has a few penned by herself that touches her to the core. Her Poem entitled Survivor allowed her to embrace her inner demons and do just that. Survive. Missy also loves her poem entitled Gentle Wings, which is a tribute to her mother. Finally able to speak out on her years of abuse at the hands of uncles and the man she gave her heart too; Missy now has started her journey onto healing. Missy's wish is for her words to soothe aching souls while healing wounded hearts.

Blueberry State of Mind, a collection of reflective truths by Missy Smith is the 1st installment in her "Life Poetry" series. With her love of writing growing more and more with each passing day, Missy is now hard at work on her next book of Poetry as well as a fictional Novel. Yes writing has grabbed a hold of Missy and thankfully refuses to let go.

Friday, November 25, 2011

Why I love(d) him

http://www.amazon.com/-/e/B005EGKDQG

OK so I wanted to change things up and write this Reflection on why I love (d) a certain individual who happened to grace my life for a few years. Though we are no longer I wanted to share not just the bad but also the good. Love can be good and for a brief moment between him and I it was.

Enjoy

Why I love (d) him
Missy Smith
All rights reserved


I love (d) you not for the materialistics you enhanced my life with
I love (d) you not for the color of your skin
I love (d) you not for your A list status
I could care less about who you know or knew
I love (d) you for you
For the way your nose would crinkle when smiling
The way your eyes would tear when laughing too hard
The way you would call and say "Hey Mami I just wanted to hear your voice
I love (d) ‘you’ for you
The you who was fearless and full of life
The you who loved old school music and still wore converse just because
The you who made me melt from a single kiss
Who had my soul crazy
Sending my spirit higher and higher
I love (d) you not for the man you were but for the man you are
A love so powerful till this day still shakes my core
And though our love affair is no more
I pray I find again this intensity within my lifetime
And so, if anyone should again ask
Why I love (d) you
I would say with painful joy
Simply because you are beautiful

Monday, November 21, 2011

Lil' Gyrl Blues.... ( A story of Self Discovery and Surviving)

Lil’ Gyrl Blues
Missy Smith
All rights reserved


Sometimes, I allow the past to wreak havoc on my future.
I would revert back to that little girl who was abused physically/ mentally and think that is all I am.
Damaged!

I at times force myself to realize that I am so much more than that.

I am a Strong Intelligent Rising Queen who overcame trials and tribulations showing yes, it can be done.

But then something or someone from my past would throw out subtle reminders that I may not be all that I seem and that I am not as strong as I wish others to believe.

And so I would huddle off into my corner of self doubt, staring off into the window of pains past crying. Pleading to God just let me go.

To drift off into a sleep so deep until awakening was no longer an option. See I am strong just not as strong as I think or thought I was but still strong nonetheless.

And this is the conflictions that I live with which allows my lil' gyrl blues to invade.
Attacking my grown woman joys snatching me back into that place of darkness once more.

Unstable I realized I am but not as unstable as I once was. I need to remember I am someone who yes has been through hell and back making occasional pit stops back to hell here and there but I Survived.

I Survived the abuse, the depression, the fears, the anger, the tears, the self doubts, the loneliness and this is what I need to remind "me" of.

No longer am I that lil' gyrl. I am a Grown Woman who has to finally let go of the past because it does not define ME!

Now is the time for me to put on my big gyrl panties and Woman Up.

Accept the unexpected and learn from it while keeping 'me' moving in a forward direction.

No more will I allow myself to be that victim.
No more will I allow my Surviving to be in vain.
Now from this moment on I am fighting.
Fighting for the chance to be peacefully me.

This is a dedication to all who have been abused mentally and physically and who too struggles daily with doubts of self-worth.

Remember,

YOU ARE SOMEONE AND THAT IS WHAT THEY FEAR(ED)!!!!!

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Do you truly know who you are surrounded by?

Do you truly know who you are surrounded by?

In today's society many assume they know with whom they are surrounded by.

But do they really?

There are many who pretend to wish you well, many who will actually celebrate your success having you believe they are indeed happy for you. The reality is they truly are not!

I found out the hard way that those who I had surrounded myself with, only half were truly happy for me while the other half were jealous and vindictive. They would smile in my face, while downing me behind my back.

In March 2011, I published my first book of "Life Poetry" titled Blueberry State of Mind, a collection of reflective truths, Missy Smith @Xlibris.com, Amazon.com, Barnesandnoble.com (shameless plug but hey someone has to do it lol)


During this time many who I thought were well wishers were actually jealous haters.

Yes HATERS!!!!!.

I began getting emails from those I once considered friends who asked, So I guess you think you are all that now? I guess you think you are better than us now? So I guess you will forget all about us little people now?

I laughed it off but then it began to become an everyday thing and it caused me to address these individuals and that is when I found out I was not surrounded by the right people.

I had to truly recognize and realize that some of whom I had surrounded myself around were in fact those I should have never given the time of day.

In the grand scheme of things there are many of you today asking yourself this very question. Am I surrounded by the right people?

Ask yourself these important questions as it will lead to finding out truthfully are you surrounded by those who you are meant to be surrounded by.

(1) When speaking on your blessings and achievements does the individual (s) you are speaking with seem genuinely happy or do they find some way to interject doubt?

(2) Do you notice distance from those you were once close too when blessings abound bestow you?

(3) Do your friends only interact with you when "They" are feeling down?

(4) Do your friends desert you when "You're down?"

(5) Are you the up lifter of the group?

If you answered yes to the majority of these questions then you are not surrounded by the right type of people.

Now I know there are some who are up lifters within their group but ask yourself do others go out their way to uplift you.

An example of realizing if you are surrounded by the right people is if you are constantly feeling as if you are being taken advantage of then "NO" you are not surrounded by the right ones.

If the following statements below rings truth for you then "Yes" you are most definitely surrounded by those who you are meant to be surrounded by.

My friends and I always celebrate each others accomplishments.

My friends and I wish each other well at all times.

My friends and I uplift and inspire each other everyday.

My friends and I love each other through the good and bad.

I have been blessed to come across some amazing people that I can truly call my friends and I have come across those who I simply deem acquaintances. Each knows their roles. It took a long time for me to understand because I am a trusting and yes at times naive woman who loves seeing the good in everyone and yes in a perfect world there would only be good people. But, we do not live in such a world and the reality is evil lurks through even the best of us but do we have to continue having such a thing invade our beings?

At the end of the day I value friendships and I enjoy celebrating my friends’ joys as well as uplifting them when their spirits become low.

And finally I have those around who I am truly meant to be surrounded by.

I thank you all for taking the time to read and I welcome all comments.

Stay tuned for Does your family truly support your dreams?

Creative Luv, Missy

Saturday, November 12, 2011

Desire

Happy Saturday everyone. So upon waking this morning I sat on the edge of my bed. Something I do every morning and I had my eyes closed. (This helps with my thinking process lol) and I envisioned myself in a time way before our time of now and these words sprang forth and I decided to share them with everyone on my blog today.
Enjoy

Desire (Time of Past)

Feelings of desire deep inside my soul
Causes trembling at the very thought of you
Passions traveling with urgency
Up anxious thighs
Mmmmmmmm touch me
Do you feel the heat that’s risin'?
The love,
The fire,
Smells of my womanly scent filling the air
School girl like and I do like (it)
Do you know the emotions you've set forth onto me?
Forceful cries begging for touches (yours)
Even if it's just the slightest of them
Subduer of pain that once plagued me,
Replacing it with feelings of undeniable fervor
Unexplainable lust
Pure love
Immaculate lover
Constant hungering for thy King's fervid wrath
Laden with unadulterated ecstasy

Thursday, November 10, 2011

It Hurts

Never should abuse be tolerated. It's time we took a stand against abuse of any kind. Here is my story....

The confusion

The misusing

Of my trusting soul

Abusing my being

Ripping me apart

No longer whole

Now thrust into this hole

Black,

Darkness deep

He hit me

A slap was the beginning

Nearly killing me was our ending

Tears falling because I still love you

Believing when you said you only do this to show love

Damn,

I want to be normal

Don't want these scars

Don't want the lies I have to tell

Breakaway, faraway please away from me stay

Didn't know this would be my life

Never knew I'd be too afraid to fight (back)

Broken wings

Had me believing I was nothing

Suppressed my ability to just up and leave

And so I stayed

Endured

Cried

Told the lies

Kept quiet

Dinner on time

Clothes washed and neatly pressed

Laid still as you took me night after night

Until that night it almost became permanent

The punches

The kicking

The spitting

The I hate you's

As I lay silent on the floor gasping for air

Finally realizing I do not want to be here

Eyes closing

Spirit leaving

I'm almost there

Almost free

Freedom

Freedom

Yes,

The light I so clearly saw

Became dark once more

As I heard them say we have a pulse.....

 

Friday, November 4, 2011

The ex affect

The ex affect

I fell in love
Crashed and burned before I could save myself
7 long brutal years of bullshit and sin
Didn't wife me, though he lied and said he would see
He fed me the lines and I memorized them time after time
Dizzy and constipated from his fake ass I love you baby
Got my system overloaded off this dumb shit here
Wide open falling with no safety net
He was that itch I wish I'd never scratched
6'3 devouring my peaches and cream
About the only thing that kept me sing-ing
Guess that's what kept my ass stay-ing
Him playing in the garden which housed my secret treasure
Optical delusions of guilty pleasures
Found myself walking in the opposite direction
Needing another direction from the mess you had me in
Torn between truth and lies
Trying to figure which hurts less
Would it be your touch I miss(ed)?
Our sneaks to the roof or your momma's basement?
Or could I live with the lies
The cheating and misleading
The my battery died in my phone(why you couldn't call)
Or the had to work late excuses
Better yet could I live with letters from your ex?
Or the I'm just there to see my son (CYA= covering your ass)
Damn am I really this dumb?
Or is it my body's just numb?
Too battered to acknowledge the pain
Too tired to continue playing this game
Secret children, marriage to another, the breaking of my heart
All during our 7 together= Reason why you're now "EX"!

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

why you should buy my book!

Hello everyone, wanted to do another video and this time it focuses on why you should buy my book. I go into detail why you should buy the book as well as how the book came about. I thank you all for listening. Creative Luv, Missy

Friday, October 21, 2011

HE (personal reflection)

Heh everyone, well I always write about the pains of losing love so today I thought I would write about my joys when I "was" in love. The rush, the beauty of it all.
So enjoy

He
By Missy Smith
all rights reserved


He was a beautiful entity
Haunting my spirit sensually
Seducing my mental
Caressing my physical
All things craved by my being
Distance an excitable challenge
For he was hella sexy
Pouring loves rain steadily down my excited soul
Letters relaying sinful thoughts for my eyes only
Red Roof Inn Rendezvous’
4 hours long
Bodies collapsing
Pure exhaustion
Glistening in loves afterglow
Your center encased within my core
Inhaling the scent of you
Causes my intoxication
0.11 way over the legal limits
And yet,
I couldn't put you down
Had to ingest you daily
Sometimes 3, 4 times
Your Mami,
My papi
Hitting notes never knowing existed
The creation of note 13 on (loves) musical scale
Greetings of your kiss
Began my descent into pure bliss
Just the mere thought
And my spine begins tingling
Giggling

That's how I knew I loved you. (back then)

Thursday, October 20, 2011

I call on you Poets(Reflectionists and Expressionists)

I wanted to do a tribute to all those before me who have laced page after page with truths of triumphs and trials. Sorrows and Surviving. I thank my inspirations before me who have shown me the way to express my unique gift....

I call on you Poets (Reflectionists and Expressionists)
by Missy Smith
all rights reserved (yes this is copy written) lol

I call on you Poets(Reflectionists and Expressionists) of far
As I wish upon the pens of those before me to shine their energy's
continuously throughout my being
Keeping me sharp with verse
Free flowing with rhyme
Reasons of many
Seasons poetically singing
I call on you Poets(Reflectionists and Expressionists) of far
Loudly,
Hear my pleas
As I drench thy page full of truths
Pictures captured from written tools
Ink spilling diligently across skies that bear my magic
Light years away are thee past this catastrophic (storm)
Brewing inside the mind of this Golden Child
Reflectively Speaking

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Heh everyone, first off let me say Happy Tuesday. Yes we made it through another tiring week. So my weekend consisted of me writing for my next book that I am so excited about. Going a little different with this one but still its me 100%. So I have been having these weird dreams about my Ex. (N0 I do not want him back lorrrl) laughing out really really really loud okkkkkkkkkkkk. But I was talking to a friend who told me its because he is thinking of me and those thoughts are being transmitted because he and I were once so close. We shared the same Birthday, was supposed to get married on our Birthdays (guess he forgot that memo he sent me before). But in all honesty it worked out for the best because he showed his true colors. Allowing me to see he was indeed not the man (I use that term very loosely) I was meant to end up with. No, there is a better purpose out here in this universe for me so I happily await it and him. But in the meantime, me thinking of him and our good and bad times brought about this reflection/poem so I needed to write it down and so I share it with all of you. Enjoy
Luv, Missy
P.S. this is my up to dang on long look haahahah



Strong desires
As I replay us back in time
Needs you back then satisfied
I was positively yours
You were negatively mine
Now, she has you
Body, soul and mind
Still, it does not take away the love my heart has/had for you
But for sanity's  sake, I have to let go
Let you go
Keeping the past past while making room for my future
Allowing my wings to strengthen while flying upwards and onwards
Off into brighter skies surrounded by star filled dreams
For your kisses no longer mean to me a thing
Your touches now hers no more do I hunger for
Off now are my rose colored glasses
As I see you completely as meant
No longer my dream
Yet forever my nightmare......

Friday, October 14, 2011

Stereotyped

This Reflection Stereotyped came about from a discussion I had with whom I thought was a friend. She proceeded to try telling me why me and my ancestors endured the plight we did while she and her ancestors were and still is regarded superior. Now I do not know if she bumped her head or felt some boldness on the particular day we had this talk but all in all it fueled this reflection. It was not intended to offend but instead to open eyes and minds of those who still has this mentality.



Stereotyped
Reflection from Blueberry Stated of Mind, a collection of reflective truths by Missy Smith

 http://www.amazon.com/-/e/B005EGKDQG

Stereotyped
You are not that pure as the driven white snow virgin society has labeled you
 No, I am not that seductive whore many perceive us black women as being
 Yes, I am undervalued and underappreciated
 Made to feel inferior while you were taught to be superior
 “Pure Goddesses” they call you
 “Black Tramps” is what they yell at us
 See my ancestors paid our dues long time ago, only now it seems many have forgotten
 Therefore, you attach more wages upon us to pay
 The epitome of a society bearing no morals
 From back in the day to now here in this day discrimination still running deep
 And yes, I still refuse to be anyone’s woolly haired sheep
 Know that I walk with a stride that can't be denied
No matter how hard you try I refuse to backslide
 I ride the front
Sit where I want
Talk what I feel all while displaying beautifully confident appeal
 See Mama made educating us her main priority
 Articulate strong “Black Nubian Queen” on this scene
 Refusing to be caught up in racial divisions
 Radical decisions hell-bent on weakening instead of strengthening
 Power to the people, yeah I got that memo
 See my strength lies within many factors that make up my genetic symmetry
 Ain't I a woman said Sojourner Truth?
 After all this sexist bull, I had better be!

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Blueberry State of Mind, a collection of reflective truths by Missy Smith available now.

When life throws you that unexpected curve ball and secrets and lies collide, how do you allow your soul to heal?
Abuse, Hate, Love, Inspiration.

Nights of pain, Days of joy.

Blueberry State of Mind, a collection of reflective truths takes readers on an emotional journey as Author Missy Smith finally overcomes her years of being abused mentally and physically. Embracing inner demons setting them free, Missy no longer sits daydreaming of what could have been. She now stands tall smiling about what is now to come.

Reflection from Blueberry State of Mind, a collection of reflective truths.


Survivor
By Missy Smith

I survived
Emerging Victorious
A long way from home I had to travel
But I finally made it
No more am I suffering in silence
No longer are you keeping me shamed
No longer am I your victim
Finally, I am free!
This and many more of my various "Reflections" on Life can be found at:
you can also download me for your nooks and kindles. I thank you all. Creative Luv, Missy

The Papi Affect

Snippet from book 2 (being written now)

He was tall, well past 6feet with eyes that told stories both good and bad. MMMM his arms damn they supported me in ways never have I experienced. He was a dream. He was my papi. Didn't feel right calling him daddy, hell I had one of those but he made me feel safe and secure so Papi was the next best thing to call him.

This man was fire and you know what they say about fire. Play with it at your own risk but be prepared because at some point you may become burned. Who knew 7 years later these very words would become my truths. But I couldn't help myself. He was that indulgence of pure decadence. That second piece of chocolate cake, that extra sugar in already overly sugared tea. A true treat filled with mixtures of trickery. And yet still I saw the signs and refused their offerings of truth. For I was in love. In love with a Wolf in Sheep's clothing.

Wedensday

Wednesday

By Missy Smith

The day

The day was Wednesday, sort of like today only without the bullshit from that Wednesday before

See love left her door long ago

Only she keeps trying to keep it open, if only slightly

For another has caught her eye

Well, kind of

But she knows she's caught his

She sees he's intrigued

But is she?

Are the wages of her past lover's sins too much to bear or better yet
overcome?

Are the damages inflicted from him of before too much to give him of now the time of day?

Is the light truly darkened from his mark he left upon her?

Pink nightshirt

curly hair

bare feet

endless thoughts

Wednesday,
Yea it would be wouldn't it?

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Poetry is not dead! (POETRY)

POETRY
Poetry is not dead
by Missy Smith

This was brought to my attention by someone who stated they would love to read my book but that Poetry to them is not fascinating enough or thrilling enough. It angered me to no end. I began to realize that many feel Poetry is not urban or street enough for them. Many do not realize that Poetry is the expression of ones soul and that it takes the form of the one delivering it. Everything does not have to be urban/street to make it a bonafide hit in the media world. Poetry again is from the heart. Truths told in daring and creative ways. Poetry of today is sensual, daring, scintillating, free, reflective, expressive, bold. So no, Poetry is not dead!

Poetry is not dead
Nor is it sleeping
It is however being placed on back burners
Pushed aside for more urbanized (writings)
Because my words speak truths so paramount
You discredit my freeness of mouth,
As I ink these truths,
Layering my pages full of raw emotions
No, Poetry is not dead
Nor is it sleeping
It is however being placed on back burners
Pushed aside for more urbanized (writings)
Books that promote stories in which we do too
Only we tell ours in Poetic tones
So who are you to say our stories do not belong?
Who are you to brush our creativeness aside?
Who the hell are you to tell me Poetry is not worth it?
We are Reflectionists, Expressionists and Poets who are creative beyond belief
Who weave intricateness as no other
Depicting "Life’s" truths in ways that others can relate too
So do not tell me Poetry is dead
It is thriving like never before
Showcasing its brilliance throughout the minds of its deliverers
Ones who are chosen to deliver truths in this very form
POETRY!

Also do not forget to pick up your copy of my book Blueberry State of Mind, a collection of reflective truths to read more of my reflections.
http://www.amazon.com/-/e/B005EGKDQG

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Color Me, Reflection being featured in OW NEWS SEPT issue.

Hello everyone, well I am doing good today. Found out I will be one of the featured Poets in OW NEWS. I am very happy about this. I am being recognized for my reflections and I wish to give a huge shout out to Huniie the Expressionist (Hang Out 4 Artists) for singing my praises and to Oneal Walters, and his OW News. I am including my Reflection selected for the OW NEWS. Thanks and Creative Luv, Missy





Color Me



by Missy Smith

I am a shade of brown

rich and exquisite

though at times depending upon the seasons, I like them change

summer time at times brings a darker shade

though make no mistake my beauty still resonates exquisiteness

texturally magnificent

with a hint of fabulousness

ok, its more than a hint

but I am not one to brag

however, I shall

beautiful queen

smile lighting up rooms

spiritually uplifting spirits

Th e color of me is much more than one can truly know

Yes I am a shade of brown

but my spirit is the color of free

soaring through clouds

destination beyond

the edge of known reality

making my own reality

sprouting poetic truths like that of tree roots

deeply rooted, for you cannot uproot me

see I am here to stay

until the last of my breath my Father decides shall be no more

until my pen becomes inkless

and my pages become blank

and my mind no longer creatively reflecting

but until then I shall remain

a poetically fl owing bewitching shade of brown

Missy Smith
Born in Washington DC,
it has always been Missy’s
dream to have her words
read by all. In the midst
of her thirties she knew
it was time to fulfill that
dream and thus became
the birth of Blueberry
State of Mind a collection
of reflective truths.

Missy Smith was chosen
as one of the most talented
poets by Hang Out 4 Artists.

Thursday, September 29, 2011

Inked Truths

Sometimes sitting in a nice warm relaxing bubble bath brings about much needed clarity. It doesn't have to be at night. I know mine wasn't. I simply found myself in this very type of clarity filled moment at 8:30 am. As usual I had my journal and pen handy as I found that the urge to just write hits me at any given moment. Here is my Inked Truth. Enjoy

INKED TRUTHS
 BY Missy Smith
 all rights reserved

The epitome of a dream at times becomes deferred
 Throughout one's senses comes silence
 Smells become obsolete
 Touches become non existent
 And the thrill of living becomes at times muted
 Betty Crocker never lived at my house so breakfast lunch and dinner was whatever that day the pantry had
 Sunday was the only day “True Cooking” took place
 Family gathering
Laughing, rejoicing
 But that was then and this is now
 30 odd years later and I wonder
 When did dysfunctionality become a part of me?
 Coerced into confusion
 Disillusioned by man's intrusions
 Into my private sanctuary
 Scurrying like scared rabbits
 Back into holes of dark
 Peeking out trying to catch breaks of day
 And I in the midst of it all sit patiently
 Inking my emotional truths


Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Life, True Story

Today, many people suffer the affects of an illness in silence. Many are too afraid to reach out for help. To be told I know what you're going through is not the best method especially if you do not truthfully know this persons plight. Cancer, Lupus, Depression, amongst other illnesses takes hold of many people's souls and at times many recover but during other times many succumb. So if you know someone who is suffering from an illness of any kind remember sympathy is not what we desire, but rather support and love is what we demand. This is dedicated to all my sisters and brothers who are struggling with an illness and need that reminder of the fight. Creative Luv, Missy.

True Story,

Life,
I stood in your sea of confusion
Questioning yet refusing the answers
I was lost
Drowning in misery only he could save me from
But, but, but
I initially did not want saving
Accepting my plight I regressed
Became depressed and
And
And
Gave up
Gave up on me, him, life,
I lost sight of the fight
The light
The light that many often spoke of I saw
And within that light I saw me courageously fighting
And roaring and soaring
To that place of found
And from that moment on I promised myself to always fight

Until the last of breath is no more.

Friday, September 23, 2011

Against the grain

I actually dreamt last nite that I was reciting this reflection to a room full of people seeking direction. It was so fascinating to see myself in that element even if it was only a dream. But dreams are the portals to truth and so I believe this dream was the calling of my destiny.

Against the grain
By Missy Smith
All rights reserved

Against the grain
... we take laws into our own hands
killing others for reasons of none
self protection understood
craziness not so
falling for the trap of long ago
when being men and women meant nothing
now hundreds of years later it stands for everything
and yet you allow yourself to fall for anything
destruction of self
abandonment of morals
disillusioned adding confusion
of who and what you truly are
instead of standing strong, fighting this
you choose once again to be puppets
following instead of leading
as tears fall and hearts continue bleeding
I scream wakeeeeeeeeeeeee uppppppppppp
please people, wake up.

Friday, September 9, 2011

Author and Reflectionist Missy Smith

Just who is Missy Smith?
http://www.amazon.com/-/e/B005EGKDQG

What have I done?
http://www.amazon.com/-/e/B005EGKDQG

What do I wish to accomplish?

That one is easy. I wish to accomplish a way to help others overcome the stigma of abuse whether it's through relationship abuse or sexual abuse. Today the statistics are overwhelming with this trend of every second someone is abused. No matter what form abuse takes, it is still abuse. No one deserves to be belittled, inappropriately touched or demeaned period!

I know this feeling all to well. I was forced to endure each of these things at an early age. (6) and that caused me to be thrust into a world I knew nothing of. It also forced my mind to find a way to combat this and so I began to write. Any and every thought gracing my mind graced the pages of my journal. I was a wounded soul walking amongst the living. No one knew my pain except me and my abusers. Ashamed I kept it secret. No one will ever know my true pain except those who have walked in shoes similiar to mine.

That is why I am dedicating my life to helping others who need to heal thru my "Healing thru Writing" program. This is a program, no this is a way of life that I want to encourage many to live. There are no more reasons for us (abused) to feel ashamed, empty or forgotten. We no longer have to keep our feelings inside. The time is now for us to speak up and out, banning together to fight this fight many are still too afraid to.

I recently published a book titled "Blueberry State of Mind, a collection of reflective truths" by Missy Smith and in the book I display a lot of writings from my times of abuse. One reflection I placed in the book I am displaying now so that others can see it is ok to begin healing. I SURVIVED and so can you.

Survivor


I survived

Emerging Victorious

A long way from home I had to travel

But I finally made it

No more am I suffering in silence

No longer are you keeping me shamed

No longer am I your victim

Finally, I am free!

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Late night thoughts

So it is 3:35am and I find myself sitting on the edge of my bed reflecting. Yes this is a normal occurrence with me but this day here is different. I let my mind wonder back into times when I was at my lowest of points. Yes we all have these moments when it seems everything is going good and then boom, the past sneaks in with intentions of stealing your joy. Not this time though. This is one of those situations when I am asking myself "you cannot be serious". A lot of things have happened to me over my 30 odd years hear on this earth and I can honestly say that my years have definitely been odd. I am like a puzzle whose pieces are meant to go into their places but for some reason they just don't so then you have to force them into that place or leave them out altogether. I know I know some will not get it but it is who I am. I am a complex woman. Wow did I just really say what my mom has said about me for all these years lol. Yep guess I did. But it is true nonetheless.

I am very complex. I am an intricate, delicate, sensitive, giving, shy individual who just sits back and watches. I have learned that life will never treat you in the manner you wish therefore you have to make life treat you as such. There are no limits to what you can achieve. I plan on reaching beyond the skies flying higher than any that for me is breath taking. So before retiring for a few hours of sleep, I wanted to leave you all with a reflection that I wrote in my newly published book Blueberry State of Mind, a collection of reflective truths titled "Strength". I always read this reflection day and night because it gives me such a boost and much needed inspiration. So enjoy everyone and until my next post, Creative Luv, Missy.

“Strength”



There comes a time when one must stand and be counted.

Never is there reason to allow yourself to become beaten to the point of no return.

The road to “Strength” is paved with truth and wisdom's. Yet, many fail to see the value in this way of thinking. So many times we settle for less than what we truly believe we are worth.

Many will keep you down in order for themselves to rise up. Saying simply to self you are someone is not enough. You must do more than say it, you must also prove it. Not just to others, but to yourself that you are actually that someone who not only matters, but who also counts!

Monday, September 5, 2011

Life

Hello everyone, hope your having a safe and blessed as well as relaxing Labor Day. Me, well I am still recovering from surgery. Its coming along but I have to remember to take it slow. I am sitting here as my pen beckons me and decided to write this little reflection about "Life". I share this with you all to give you some inspiration and to know that "Life" is what we make it and while we are still here let's live it to the fullest. Enjoy and do not forget to leave your comments and subscribe to my blog. This page will be filled with "Life and everything in between".

Life,
by Missy Smith
all rights reserved.


Life,
Life is about progression, not standing in the same place but rather moving forward refusing to be stagnant.

Life,
Life is about living and not settling. There is always something newer and better that will enhance you greatly.

Life,
Life is about taking risks. The right risks, for without risks comes no reward.

Life,
Life is about overcoming your past. We all have a past that at times may have unsettled our core, but we must remember to never let our past define us but rather we must allow our future to mold us into the “Kings and Queens” that we are.

Life,
Life has thrown me a curve ball, wreaked havoc upon my soul. Life caused me to travel roads I knew nothing of. Paths I unfortunately became stuck on.

Life,
Life caused me to almost lose mine. I felt so abandoned due to the abuse endured until I let it overtake me. Not knowing which direction to turn, never trusting that I would eventually be OK left me in self inflicted darkness. But out of the ashes of my past arose this phoenix of my future. A stronger, braver, wiser, self assured woman who knows that yes "life" may at times throw you lemons, but instead of  standing there being pelted by them, you merely grab as many as possible and make a nice tall refreshing glass of lemonade.


Sunday, September 4, 2011

Finally figured it out.

See I never knew how to love

Couldn’t figure that sh#t out

No matter how much I screamed and tried

I just couldn't figure it out

So many came

Too many went

Only staying for a minute

But to me, it seemed like eternity

See I never knew how to love

Stemmed from my childhood

Carried over to adult hood

Nothing ever seemingly going good

I would fall too quickly

Then when he'd leave I’d be so empty

Begging God on fallen knees please forgive me

Never thought this storm I’d be able to weather

Didn’t think it or I would ever get it together

But I did

Took a lot of time to figure out this

But I did

I did

I am beautiful

I am strong

Creatively Chaotic

Worth more than I originally gave myself credit for

No longer sitting

I stand singing

Caressing this new found woman which is me

Love, I now know how.

 

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Everything.....

Everything
by Missy Smith
all rights reserved

When I thought I had nothing
You were there
When I doubted myself
You showed me truth
Love, strength, pride
I may not have much in worldly possessions
But I have lots in Godly love
For his love brings me through
Pulling me close into his mercy
Loving me unconditionally
See when I thought I had nothing
He showed me I have everything
When I doubted myself
He should me my truths
Guiding me
Steering my ship back onto calm seas
See I don't need what the world tries offering
The only thing I need is God's everlasting love
No battles for me to fight
No wars for me to be thrust into
Only love and more love
For I am his love
As he holds me tightly
Protecting me in his mighty shield of armor
See for when I thought I had nothing
God showed me through his love, I have everything...

Friday, August 12, 2011

In a perfect world

In a perfect world, I would be 5'5 145pounds

Perfect hair, perfect skin, perfection undefined

In a perfect world I would be a Best selling Author

My book would be in the hands of many oohing and ahhing at my poetic prowess

In a perfect world I would be healthy

My body would be amazingly resilient and I would be so full of energy until

even I would tire of me

In a perfect world I would be insanely happy

In love with the most magnificent of a man

Who not only compliments me but who truly completes me

In a perfect world there would be peace

Harmony amongst the races

No backstabbing or financial displacements

In a perfect world we would be free

Free to soar above trials and tribulations

Free to just be free

But this isn't a perfect world

I am not 5'5, I am 6ft

And no I am not 145 (but still I am BEAUTIFUL)

I do not have perfect hair, its curly at times unruly

And yes my skin during stressful times betrays me

And no I have yet to reach best selling Author status

And no my book is not in the hands of thousands (but it will soon be)

And no I am not healthy, my body unfortunately battling many afflictions

Which threatens to take me at any given moment (only when God is ready)

By no means is this a perfect world as I am happy but not insanely happy

And no that magnificent man has yet to happen my way

And no peace and harmony has yet to instill themselves upon us

As we are being displaced financially losing homes and jobs and sense of self

Yes in a perfect world we would be free

But we aren’t for we are stifled by even our own limitations set purposely

upon ourselves

Trials and Tribulations a constant battle for us to fight just to make it uphill

But fight we must.

No, this isn't a perfect world

And we are far from being perfect

But we are alive and strong with the love of God shielding us

And that is perfection in itself
...

Monday, August 8, 2011

Still

Still,
By Missy Smith
Dedication to my Aunt Debbie Green

Like a river we cry deep
Sadness enveloping our soul
Despair gripping the very heart in which we love you so
A smile once abundant now hides behind grief
For you are gone now
Leaving without warning
Still, do not weep
For she is in peace
Forever bequeathed in beauty
A light that will continously shine
So smile when her name flows across your weary minds
Remembering though physically gone, she is here still
Her energy, her spirit, her laughter living on through loved ones
For sorrow is brief knowing one day we shall meet again



This is dedicated to my Aunt Debbie Green, she passed away Sunday Aug7,2011
Hours after our family reunion. Unfortunately I didn't get the chance to see her when she came, I had already left. I love you and you are forever in my heart. Sleep in peace until we meet again.

Friday, August 5, 2011

Love says she is real

Love says she is real
By Missy Smith
Love says she is real
not to be taken for granted
for she is about pleasure
devoid of games
her name nor meaning meant not to be used in vain
bequeathing beauty
shining endless light
the commitment of 2 connected souls taking flight
Love says she is real
never once does she hurt
for if that occurrence occurs then you’re not entwined with love
you're merely encased in lust
for love is the caress of gentleness
the excitement of over imaginative minds
the smiling of spirits showing through excited eyes
hands freely exploring all while knowing what boundaries never to cross
Love says she is real
the discovery of hidden treasures
the stumbling across true gifts
the key for which unlocks waiting hearts
a kiss which sends spines shivering
Love says she is real
and from intimate first hand knowledge, she is
for I met her once or twice
beginning from the simplest of innocence
often starting with a mere hello.....

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

PROMOTING PROMOTING PROMOTING

Promoting!

Most of you by now already know that I am an Author and my book Blueberry State of Mind, a collection of reflective truths was published in March 2011. What a lot of you do not know is that this book is  the story of my life told in a reflective and poetic tone. OK, now with that out of the way we can get to the heart of the matter. Promoting. I like many thought once my book was done people would instantly flock to it. Not true. Oh, many knew I was writing a book of "Life Poetry" and of course they all said the same uniform thing. I cannot wait until it drops because I am going to be the first in line to buy it.Well they all must have gotten tired standing in line because out of the many who were so eager to purchase this book only 3 followed through with it.

Again guess they all got tired of standing behind those 3. But through self discovery and Internet searching I came across some fascinating ways of promoting my book. A lot of people are Internet friendly and know a good read when they see one. The thing is you have to get them to see your book is the perfect book for them to read. Many say go after your genre. I do not believe that is the only way to go.

Yes, I am a writer of "Life Poetry" but I want my book enjoyed by all because it is a universal book and it speaks to everyone. Blueberry State of Mind, a collection of reflective truths is just as the title states. There is something for everyone between the pages of this emotionally driven, inspirational book.

Now upon researching,  I found it is harped upon (and yes I do agree) that social media sites are the way to go. So I an fully smack dab in the thick of it on Facebook, Twitter, Myspace to name a few. I love writing and these three mentioned were the obvious places for me to be. I have quite a few friends on these sites and they all love my style of writing. Has it encouraged them to run out and purchase the book? No, but that has not stopped me from still posting and interacting with everyone because eventually the trust will be there along with the interest of the book and thus the buying will begin.

Next twitter. I love me some twitter but you have to constantly become rooted on there and update update update so if you do not have the patience for this sort of thing then either A do not sign up for Twitter or B have someone do your posts for you.  Same with Facebook if you cannot post daily on Facebook then either have someone do your stats or give up on face book altogether. (although I do not recommend the latter).

Twitter has been a new love for me. It allows you to seek out people you would have never had the opportunity to reach out too. I have sought out everyone, from stars to poetry lovers to whomever just introducing myself to them, getting the word out about Blueberry State of Mind.

Next is blogging. Oh yes the infamous blogging. I have started a blog (this one). It will be used to introduce my style of writing, my thoughts, information that I have found that will help other Authors. This is a tedious and at times frustrating amount of work and time that has to be put in but in the end it is well worth it. Again the name of the game is "PROMOTING". Introducing the world to "YOU"!

Never rely simply on one of these methods. All of these methods have to be used in conjunction with one another. Also word of mouth. Nothing beats telling the world you are out here. It does not matter if they do not want to hear it, you still must tell them. Hi, I am Missy Smith, Author of Blueberry State of Mind, a collection of reflective truths and from there most people's curiosity will be peaked and the conversation will have begun. There is trial and error with promoting as one never truly know what route to take and how to go about promoting. But with a lot of research and studying other Authors it will eventually come together. The next step in promoting is showing the world your finished product. Always have a copy of your book handy so that you can show them the beauty of it. Nothing beats seeing and feeling the actual product in your potential buyers hands. I also recommend flyer's. You can put whatever you wish on flyer's but make sure it is fun, eye catching and has a sample of what's in your book. Again people want to read everything about you and see just what it is you're writing about before they make that decision to invest their money and time on you and your book.

Again, the Internet is your best friend when it comes to promoting as well as finding out other ways to introduce yourself to the world.
There are many ways to promote. Book signings both in personal and virtual, word of mouth, flyer's, social media sites, friends, co-workers but no matter what road you choose you have to be ready to grind it out because it will not come easy but it will eventually become easier.

You can never go wrong with the way you promote your book, as promoting is what's needed in order for the world to know you are out here and your book is worth reading. If you choose not to promote then your book like many before it will go unnoticed. And do not forget to have your friends tell their friends about your book. Again the more people you have telling others about you and your book the better.

Missy Smith, Author of Blueberry State of Mind, a collection of reflective truths will be featuring more informative information and ideas in upcoming blog post as well as video postings.

Tomorrow's post. The benefits of a press release and how to write one for the Self Published Author.

Creative Luv and Happy Promoting.

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Life+Poetry=Blueberry State of Mind.
Come share some Blueberry's with me, Missy Smith as I take you on a poetic journey into the mind of a once fearful child turned I SURVIVED woman. 130 pages of life told in various poetic tones. Blueberry State of Mind is the soul depiction of Life and everything in-between. Encouraging all to pick up your copy TODAY and journey with me as I display my emotional truths for all to read. Isn't life meant to be lived to the fullest, shared amongst friends and never taken for granted? Then again, get your copy of Blueberry State of Mind, a collection of reflective truths by Missy Smith. I guarantee you life will never be looked upon the same after reading this book.

Thursday, July 28, 2011

Is what I deeply fear....


Is What I deeply Fear
By Missy Smith

This is one of my many moments when realizing my demons at times return, causing me to question everything about myself.

It's not that I am not worthy
Or that my voice shall forget to shout truths
It's that I all too often ask myself does it make a difference?
Do I make a difference?
Is what I deeply fear


It's not that I am afraid
Or that my passion for inking revelations shall wane
Or that one day I will forever be lost in the crowd
It's that I’m feeling now my one day went from someday to this day
Teetering between realities
Never returning to my moment of free
Is what I deeply fear


I smile because it's what I do
I laugh because it helps calm nervousness
I cry because it allows my pains to release
Wondering do I have this thing called life figured out.
Not quite, is what I deeply fear


Running this race alongside billions
Seeming at times to be stuck at go
Lights flashing, constantly blinding
Like a deer in headlights I'm frozen
Staring into a place that's given and taken so much of my being
Stranded, feeling at times relegated to second fiddle
Consciously unconscious
Inspiring others
While forgetting myself in the process
Overly sensitive
Emotionally a ticking time bomb
Ready to explode without notice
Is what I deeply fear


Rarest jewel deep within the confines of my mind
At least that's what they all say
Priceless thinking’s where darkness never reaches
Bearing the mark of compassion upon my selfless soul
Knowing the me others have yet to see may in fact be the greatest loss for many
Do I matter?
If not, will I?
When gone will I be remembered?
If yes, then how so?
Will the positives of me outweigh the negatives of me?
Had I known better, trusting me more
This would not have been what I for years deeply feared.



Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Critical

The state of Poetry is critical. What does that mean?  It means us Poets are at a place where we are often not taken serious. There are a lot of books out here today depicting various scenes and we as Poets and Reflectionists have to constantly compete with the other genres and a lot of times it is those genres that win out. Many do not fully understand Poets and their (our) poetry. So I wanted to give some insight into just who we as Poets truly are. We Poets are a passionate sort. We write from the soul. Now that is not to say writers of other genres do not but Poets find that voice from deep within that allows us to create in the manner that we do. Our words tell stories that are poignant. Rich with uniqueness  captivating all.

The Definition of a Poet is as follows:
1-One who writes poetry, maker of verses
2-one (as a creative artist) of great imagination and expressive capabilities
and special sensitivity to the medium.

The Definition of a Reflectionist is as follows:
Reflectionism i.e Reflectionist establishes a virtual "mirror", created through symmetry, by the process of detournement, to let the audience (or recipient) see himself/herself.

This is why I do not label myself simply as just a Poet. I am a Reflectionist with the heart of a Poet. Yes, I am the epitome of both Poet and Reflectionist combined.
When writing, I have no set subject that I pick to touch on. What is displayed in my writings is what comes to me in that very instance. Not every time will my words depict beauty, but they will always relay truth. I remember as a child when I first began writing, My Granny would tell everyone to let me be for I was in my Blueberry State of Mind. I never knew what that meant but as an adult I do now. Back then she knew my spirit was aching and I was in a state of blue.

Seeing the calming effects writing had on on me, she wanted me to have that sense of peace. It was unfortunate the way I found my way into writing. At the age of 6 I was abused by 2 uncles thus leading to me needing a way for my mind to escape. I remember the first day I picked up a pencil and paper and began writing. It was 3 days after my 6th birthday and after my first moments of being abused. I sat on my Granny's front porch ashamed and sad and I just needed to write about it. That very day still is etched into my mind.  I never thought my writings were for others to see, they were simply my secrets and dreams told to my best friend, my diary.

Many of us writers write for many reasons and I know that my reason is an emotional one.
I am an emotional writer of life and everything in-between.  As I grew more knowledgeable about what my writings truly encompassed, I found myself at the junction of should or shouldn't I. Should I share my openness with everyone by publishing my book or should I just continue to keep writings for my journal.  My 5th English Teacher God rest his soul who first noticed my love of writing gave me my first ever journal to record every moment whether I deemed them worthwhile or not. He would always say you just love going into detail with everything you write don't you. I would just laugh because he was so right.

Now into my adult years I knew my passions were for a purpose. I needed to show others that writing truths no matter how emotional is actually good for the soul. There is never going to be a time when we as Reflectionist and Poets are truly understood. We will always be that minority in the publishing world. But that needs to change. We Poets and Reflectionist need to be celebrated the same as other writers of different genres. I personally am a writer of "Life Poetry" but Poetry is told in a variety of ways. I embrace all my fellow Poets and Reflectionist's for the way we tell our stories is truly amazing. In the end I know we will never be fully understood or even fully embraced, but when its all said and done, we will be heard!

excerpt from Blueberry State of Mind



Upon My Throne


Upon my throne I sit surrounded by poetry

Volumes it speaks as my minds free flowing

Mesmerized as my voice recites beautifully emitted words

Skin beaming with caramel under tones

Black poetic beauty I am now known

A melancholy briefly whispered as quickly love kisses me so gently

Forever in my heart you linger

Upon my throne I sit surrounded by poetry

Years of various verses from various creative sorts

Words and wisdoms blending sublimely

Creativity at its best

My spirit paying homage to Maya Angelou, Gwendolyn Brooks, Rita Dove, Wanda Phipps, and Nikki Giovanni just to name a few

Following the winds of my poetic predecessors soaring high above

Preparing my place amongst the greats as I sit upon this poetic throne

Missy Smith, Author of Blueberry Sate of Mind, a collection of reflective truths is a Mother, Reflectionist, Writer, Author, Motivator, all in this order.

For more of Missy's life inspiring and heartfelt reflections please visit Amazon.com, Xlibris.com, Barnesandnoble.com, Booksamillion.com or your local bookstores and get your copy of her amazing truths told throughout all 130+pages of this remarkable and eye opening book.

Monday, July 25, 2011

Artists Supporting Artists

By now most of you know I have published my first book of "Life Poetry" titled Blueberry State of Mind, a collection of reflective truths. I was so excited to see my baby come to life. I was giddy and scared at the same time. New to this whole process I finally learned the true meaning of 'Self Publishing' and all it entailed. It literally meant once your product was produced then the promoting and marketing was left all up to you the Author. Telling everyone before hand my book was being released, many became or so they said excited and anxious to read it. As it turns out those many anxious and excited ones congratulated me but have yet to purchase the book. It was a complete eye opener but it just made me focus harder on reaching those who have yet to hear about me and my writings.

Reaching out to other Authors asking for advice (Women Authors) seem to bring the usually let me get back with you or just keep pushing through everything happens in time answer. It let me know right there that not only we as human beings, but we as fellow artist do not wish to lend support to one another. It is truly sad. Now I will admit there were some nice Authors on face book who truly gave me some good information as well as congratulating me.

I am shouting them out because they deserve it. Author April Johnson, Author Angela Murphy and Author Renda Rose, Author Justice Chikandamina, Justice Clarke, Ant Pearson of W.A.C.S. online and Author- Poet Ricardo A Owens. (I also wish to thank those of you who have purchased my book. I truly appreciate it fully. Joyce Thomas, William Blackwell, Dwayne Morgan and those who I do not know by name again thank you for believing in me, supporting my dream.) There are other Authors who congratulated me and welcomed me into the fold but none offered help or advice on more ways of promoting your book, getting your name out there. If I saw an Author had a book signing, I would ask that Author excuse me but how did you go about making this happen. Answer, none. I have reached out to book clubs introducing myself and my book to them and while yes they would befriend me on face book, none took the time to directly answer messages I sent them while all the time I would see on their pages books they read and recommended to others. Are we that far into ourselves that helping the next artist is beyond the realm of reality? I would think we 'Women Authors' would lend a helping hand.

How wrong I was.

So I grew disgusted and saddened that my book had yet to attain the status as some of the other Authors I have been researching and following. God heard a many of my prayers on this situation and seen a lot of my tears and he knew I was ready to call it quits on the promoting of my book and then it hit me. The devil is busy. You do not give up because of the pettiness of others. Yes they at one time had to ask for help and yes someone helped them and yes they have forgotten to pay it forward but you ('Me') remember to always pay it forward. I had to remind myself that I am not a "SURVIVOR" for nothing. I 'Can and Will' do this. It may take longer as I am just figuring out some things but it will happen. As my mother points out. Rome was not built in a day. So I wiped away the tears, prayed to God to release the angst in my heart towards those who only think of themselves and I kept it moving.

So I want to thank you all who have refused to answer my questions on promoting my book further.



I want to thank you for being only into you and your dreams. I want to say good luck in achieving all that you have because Missy Smith, Author of Blueberry State of Mind, a collection of reflective truths will surpass even my own expectations because I am a 'FIGHTER AND SURVIVOR' and if I can overcome abuse, a life threatening illness then I can surely overcome this. I am even more excited and amped to introduce myself to others for I am Missy Smith, writer of 'Life Poetry', Author of Blueberry State of Mind, a collection of reflective truths!

Sunday, July 24, 2011

The Truth

The truth behind my writings are just that. TRUTH. Everything written is everything I have or am experiencing. A lot of my reflections stay hidden while a lot I bring to the forefront. I am at times an emotional writer. My words more often than I care to admit do not emote beauty. But they do more times than enough depict truths. For years I have been trying to pretty up my words and found that to be pointless for I lost me in the process. I have countless pages of words which is that of beauty but to me its fake. I wrote what I felt others wanted me too. Reading some of those writings I felt the pains of it not being the true me. And so I had to go back to the style of writing that was truly me. I write what my heart wishes to be told. I cannot fake something that is not there. So book 1, Blueberry State of Mind, a collection of reflective truths is 130 pages filled with my various truths. I simply tell it like it is. No glossing it. No trying to make it pretty. For life isn't at all times pretty and that is what I write about. "Life". There are reflections in this book that will shock some but will also show you that through times of tribulations, one can heal. I am a SURVIVOR and plan on remaining one.

I truly encourage all to pick up this book. It is not what some would imagine. I do know that when one hears the word "Poetry" they think of something totally different. But when you hear "Life Poetry", what do you think of? "Life Poetry" is the emptying of one's soul. Barring all whether good or bad. Yes, "Life Poetry" is the telling of Life in a Poetic tone. Life Poetry may not always be pretty, but it is always truthful.