Hey everyone, well it's been a minute since I have posted. And yes it was on purpose. I just had to regather my thoughts as well as myself. It's hard sometimes to open up and just let go. But I have to remember who and what I am. I am a SURVIVOR of so many life changing things. I Survived abuse both physically and mentally. I survived failed relationships. I survived being told I would never be good enough. Yes I SURVIVED. So many people are thrust into darkness and never allow themselves to see once again the light. But it took me a while to remember that I am a fighter. Never will I allow anyone to place their bullshit upon my spirit. There are many people out here who are miserable and love nothing more than to make you miserable. I fell back into that trap for a moment. I did not value me. I allowed others thoughts concerning me to become my way of thinking as well. I felt because someone didn't love me then I must not love myself either. So I returned back to patterns of letting myself become abused. I thought well that was the way I am supposed to be. My life became dark again and it took God given strength to pull myself up out of that blackness. I have got to show the strength that was bestowed upon me so yes there will be times when the past will try grabbing hold of me but I have to remember I AM A SURVIVOR and that trumps all...!

ps. do not forget to get Blueberry State of Mind, a collection of reflective truths, Missy Smith
This book is not what you think it is is. It's better. http://www.amazon.com/-/e/B005EGKDQG

Creative Luv to all my sisters and brothers in the ink.

A Son’s Declaration

A Son’s Declaration
(from the book Blueberry State of Mind, a collection of reflective truths, Missy Smith
http://www.amazon.com/-/e/B005EGKDQG
I highly encourage you all to get your copy TODAY!

"Black People” My son says!
What about them I ask? They make me so sick he responds. Here is the time being a Mother and not a friend comes into play. Sitting down, I proceed to listen. It was a warm Indian Summer’s day when he made this declaration of dislike towards his own race. You should be proud of where you come from. I am he states, but not towards some of the people that also shares my race. Well, you cannot generalize a whole race because of one mistake made by someone who just so happens to share the same race as you.

Staring at me with those inquisitive hazel eyes made me just open my arms inviting him in. My son, my child, my flesh and blood had become disappointed and disillusioned in his own ancestry. I wanted him to take pride in where he came from and more importantly give him the strength to fledge ahead and become better than those causing him to be incensed. A Mother's arms always seem to do the trick of bringing immediate comfort. Nestling his head against my shoulders like that when he was younger brought great relief to my worrisome soul. Thanks Mom he whispers in that young man's voice he has now acquired. Smiling he breaks our embrace and heads to his room. Relieved, I begin to fix dinner. It was then I realized, I never did find out why “Black People” on this day made him sick.

Hold'n U Down, Love

Hold'n u down

Love,

I remember them days back when

It was you and I till the end back then

Riding till we die we said

Guess that time came sooner than later

Now gone our separate ways, I hate it

But time heals all wounds they say

How much time does it take I say

Cuz it’s been a minute+ a couple of days

Remember when the love flowed freely

Your strong arms holding me securely

Should have known it wouldn't last cuz shit was too easy

Fighting for respect brought about constant regrets

Our forever became our for right now

Unpredictable love

Crazy love

Never quite right type of love

Down

I fell

Never truly getting back up

Midway

Caught in-between limbo

We go

Separate ways

Inconsistent days

Memories of you and I

Tears I'd often cry

Retraced steps when I held u down

The impossible meant nothing where you were concerned

Whatever you needed, "I" made sure you had it

Should we,

Could we,

Dare we

Give it another try?

hmmmmmmmm.......