Hey everyone, well it's been a minute since I have posted. And yes it was on purpose. I just had to regather my thoughts as well as myself. It's hard sometimes to open up and just let go. But I have to remember who and what I am. I am a SURVIVOR of so many life changing things. I Survived abuse both physically and mentally. I survived failed relationships. I survived being told I would never be good enough. Yes I SURVIVED. So many people are thrust into darkness and never allow themselves to see once again the light. But it took me a while to remember that I am a fighter. Never will I allow anyone to place their bullshit upon my spirit. There are many people out here who are miserable and love nothing more than to make you miserable. I fell back into that trap for a moment. I did not value me. I allowed others thoughts concerning me to become my way of thinking as well. I felt because someone didn't love me then I must not love myself either. So I returned back to patterns of letting myself become abused. I thought well that was the way I am supposed to be. My life became dark again and it took God given strength to pull myself up out of that blackness. I have got to show the strength that was bestowed upon me so yes there will be times when the past will try grabbing hold of me but I have to remember I AM A SURVIVOR and that trumps all...!

ps. do not forget to get Blueberry State of Mind, a collection of reflective truths, Missy Smith
This book is not what you think it is is. It's better. http://www.amazon.com/-/e/B005EGKDQG

Creative Luv to all my sisters and brothers in the ink.

The Remembrance of Missy

I keep forgetting I am strong

I kept forgetting I “SURVIVED”

I keep forgetting things have changed

I kept forgetting why I am who I am

I keep forgetting silence is not the best policy

I kept forgetting I am loved by all the right people

I keep forgetting to move forward

I kept forgetting I believe

I keep forgetting to leave the past the past

I kept forgetting why I walked away in the first place

I keep forgetting you have yet to change

I kept forgetting you do not define me

I keep forgetting I can love

I kept forgetting I am lovable

I keep forgetting I am not fragile

I kept forgetting weakness has no place nor say

I keep forgetting no one has the power to disrupt my spirit

I kept forgetting we are better apart

I keep forgetting to stop wishing (for your return)

I kept forgetting time does heal all wounds

I keep forgetting that I do know happy

And my soul is now for that very reason soaring......

For’ now I know the remembrance of "Missy"

Love

It was accidental we met

Darkness before surrounding me

However, you brought the light

Reminded me of the fight

Days becoming happy again

Sadness found herself another home

Sadness found herself another home

Cherry balm filled kisses

Skin the color of freshly churned butter

Touches causing me to stutter

My heart now yours

Waking to you

Partaking in you

8 years later we’ve parted

Watched you leave

Didn’t have the heart to beg you to stay

Instead, I lay down

Remembering us

And everything that once was

Smiling

Crying

Knowing

Love is a funny sort...

A Son’s Declaration

A Son’s Declaration
(from the book Blueberry State of Mind, a collection of reflective truths, Missy Smith
http://www.amazon.com/-/e/B005EGKDQG
I highly encourage you all to get your copy TODAY!

"Black People” My son says!
What about them I ask? They make me so sick he responds. Here is the time being a Mother and not a friend comes into play. Sitting down, I proceed to listen. It was a warm Indian Summer’s day when he made this declaration of dislike towards his own race. You should be proud of where you come from. I am he states, but not towards some of the people that also shares my race. Well, you cannot generalize a whole race because of one mistake made by someone who just so happens to share the same race as you.

Staring at me with those inquisitive hazel eyes made me just open my arms inviting him in. My son, my child, my flesh and blood had become disappointed and disillusioned in his own ancestry. I wanted him to take pride in where he came from and more importantly give him the strength to fledge ahead and become better than those causing him to be incensed. A Mother's arms always seem to do the trick of bringing immediate comfort. Nestling his head against my shoulders like that when he was younger brought great relief to my worrisome soul. Thanks Mom he whispers in that young man's voice he has now acquired. Smiling he breaks our embrace and heads to his room. Relieved, I begin to fix dinner. It was then I realized, I never did find out why “Black People” on this day made him sick.

Hold'n U Down, Love

Hold'n u down

Love,

I remember them days back when

It was you and I till the end back then

Riding till we die we said

Guess that time came sooner than later

Now gone our separate ways, I hate it

But time heals all wounds they say

How much time does it take I say

Cuz it’s been a minute+ a couple of days

Remember when the love flowed freely

Your strong arms holding me securely

Should have known it wouldn't last cuz shit was too easy

Fighting for respect brought about constant regrets

Our forever became our for right now

Unpredictable love

Crazy love

Never quite right type of love

Down

I fell

Never truly getting back up

Midway

Caught in-between limbo

We go

Separate ways

Inconsistent days

Memories of you and I

Tears I'd often cry

Retraced steps when I held u down

The impossible meant nothing where you were concerned

Whatever you needed, "I" made sure you had it

Should we,

Could we,

Dare we

Give it another try?

hmmmmmmmm.......

　

I Finally Cried

So Christmas is finally over. Whew, I escaped not too badly scathed (money wise) that is but mentally it just brought back memories of a painful childhood. Times when I was too afraid to cry, too afraid to say I am not OK. So I learned long ago to smile a little too much, laugh a little louder. All to hide my pain. They say when one is wounded then crying heals those wounds. Thinking to myself now that maybe the reason it took me a long time to heal was because I never allowed myself to cry. I kept it all in. Only telling the pages of my diary secrets I allowed to continuously dirty my soul. Older (Not old lol) but yes older and a little bit wiser, I now know that it's OK to cry. It's OK to say no, I am not OK!

This reflection I wrote when my soul was finally able to do just that. Cry.

Reflection from Blueberry State of Mind, a collection of reflective truths, Missy Smith
http://www.amazon.com/-/e/B005EGKDQG

                                                                 I Finally Cried

Walking through the door

Addressing no one

Simply going straight to that place of calm

My room

Falling backwards onto my awaiting queen sized bed

Fully dressed ‘cept for kicked off shoes exposing my stocking feet

Letting loose what I for years kept held back

I finally cried

Not full on tears

Slight trickles at first

Then more

Like a dam overflowing its banks

Soaking me completely

So many tears until my vision became blurred

So in turn, I closed my eyes as it allowed the tears to flow in unison

Never bothering reaching for tissues

I just let them fall

One by One

See I cried because I needed too

Crying for all the years I let pain control me

For times when I was too afraid to live

I cried for the damage upon my soul abusers inflicted

I cried because I was so tired of being tired

I cried for letting myself be used

For letting life get so far ahead of me

I cried for losing my way amongst this directionless place

I cried because the love of my life decided he no longer loved me

I cried because love lost her faith in me

I cried because my innocence so long ago was taken

I cried because I allowed myself to become trapped inside myself

Becoming lost and confused, lonely and abused

I cried because I was empty

I cried because I wanted to feel whole again

I cried because it was the only truthful thing I could control doing

Yes, this day here I cried

I cried for my fathers love

I cried because the only man to ever love me (my Grandfather) was no longer earthly here

I cried for my mother to be mentally alive again

I cried because I too was a mother

I cried because I will never be again that very mother

I cried because I grew up too soon

I cried because I did not know which road to travel upon

I cried because it hurt so damn bad

The pain deeply embedded inside my broken heart

I cried because the man I loved though gone still held my soul

I cried because tomorrow will bring back these very same memories

I cried because I wanted to be free

I cried because I realized in this moment of crying that I was releasing

Cleansing my soul of all life’s toxins

I cried because I was finally OK

As I Lay

As I Lay
Author Reflectionist Missy Smith
All rights reserved

As I lay

In a puddle of seduction

In the middle of insecurities

Right next to confusion

On top of emotions drifting bliss

In and out
Out and in

I lay continuously in his midst

Sweet surrender

I dance freely

Greedily consuming even the weakest part of me

Licking lips

Caressing cheeks

Wiping tears

That falls constantly

Joys and pains

Both seemingly the same

Enveloping every bit of me

As I lay

In a puddle of seduction

In the middle of insecurities

Right next to confusion

On top of emotions drifting bliss

In and out
Out and in

I lay continuously in his midst

I want tonight....

When love wishes to grab hold, never letting go.
When the hands of time chooses to keep you trapped.
When misery loves your company.
When your heart simply does not know how to let go.

You have to take a stand, fight through the tears, fears and aloneness to take back the most important thing ever. YOU!

Author Reflectionist Missy Smith


I want tonight
To be the night

That you,

Don’t say you want to kiss me when you really don’t

Don’t say you want to hold me when you really wont

Don’t say you love me when you know you don’t

Don’t say it feels so right when it’s really wrong

Don’t say forever when it’s actually today

Don’t play don’t play

Please, don’t play

Don’t take my heart for it’s not for sale

Give me forever only if you can

Give me tomorrow after tomorrow after tomorrow

Love's bleeding pleas of sorrow

Unexpected your semi rejection

Never understood you being half in

Half out

I'm totally out

My mind

Behind this loss of time

Loss of reason

Loss of rhyme

Tortures winds

Blowing

I'm dancing in the midst of pains bliss

Half in

Half out

Stuck in-between self doubt

Should I,

Should I not

Totally let go?

Hold Me

I long to be held

I was never held cept for when I was a child

My pop pop skeet would hold me for hours

I was a mere child, bout 7 I suppose when he showed me held love

Placed upon his knee, giddy cuz my pop pop loved me

He was a powerful and strong man in nature though not in stature

But it didn't matter cuz to a child (me) he was everything needed

But he's gone now and I miss him so much, even my own father, his son never held me. Never said he loved me. I was never the love of his life like I was of my pop pops, his father I wish u were still here pop pop to hold me again. to show me that love I have never in my lifetime experienced. I just wish someone would hold me (like pop pop) for old time’s sake...

How did I get here?

Back into this state of unsaving grace?

It hurts so badly.

Raw with emotion

I'm 6 again

I'm 7, 8, and 9,10,11,12

Cold, confused, misused

Beggar of Please

Screamer of why me

As I turn the pages of my diary

My best friend,

My minds savior

Inking truths one after another

Dreams, desires, fictional satires

Am I asleep?

Just a moment ago I was happy

I was happy

I was HAPPY damnit

Stop happening upon me

Leave me alone

I got rid of you long ago

Stop wreaking havoc on my fragile soul

I'm 6

I'm 7, 8, and 9,10,11,12

Hold me please.

Biography of Missy Smith

http://bookstore.xlibris.com/Products/SKU-0091314050/default.aspx

Missy Smith, A Reflectionist hailed as the voice of now, has finally embraced her soul's journey as a Reflectionist, the term given to her by her late Grandmother. Missy known for taking moments staring off into the world she wished she could live peacefully in found this method to be relaxing. Born in Washington D.C. in the 70's, Missy was a happy and energetic child who loved using words in very descriptive manners.

Missy experienced the horrors of abuse at the tender age of six, which threw her into a world of utter turmoil. Unable to cope with being abused by two male uncles, Missy developed an alter personality to help deal with being abused leading to the name Missy Smith. It would be six more exhausting and brutal years before Missy was finally strong enough to say NO more. During those times, Missy used her mind to escape these horrific moments thus leading her to fantasize about places much happier than the one she resided in. Missy was in the fifth grade when her English teacher realized her talents of writing. Encouraged by her way of story telling, he bestowed Missy with her first journal, which she aptly titled "Blueberry State of Mind".

As a teenager, Missy kept adding more and more to her journal. Stories of lost and found love, abuse and the dysfunction of her family. At 13 Missy became depressed remembering losing her childhood to abuse. She started lashing out at anyone who crossed her path. Writing and school became her solace from her shameful world. Writing began to consume Missy as she wrote about everything stemming from her pain. At 16, Missy dropped out of school altogether as her mind started taking a turn for the worse. Running with the wrong crowd brought about destructive behaviors.

Becoming a mother during her teenage years brought a calming sense to her chaotic soul. Her son, the love of her life was the determining factor that made Missy reevaluate her life. It was then Missy decided with the help and guidance of her mother to go back to school getting her high school diploma. Upon receiving her diploma, Missy took any and every job just to make sure her son wanted for nothing.

Still, the writing she at times began putting on the back burner beckoned her, upon letting friends know how much she enjoyed writing, they encouraged Missy to take a chance and begin the process of publishing her emotional truths. With journals in hand, Missy sought out to make this dream of past her reality now. Since changing her name during her teenage years, Missy decided to stick to writing under the name Missy Smith that brought comfort to her.

Missy began studying the works of Maya Angelou, Nikki Giovanni, Rita Dove, Gwendolyn Brooks and Ai; it was their words that gave Missy the strength to now share hers. Maya and Nikki were the closest to her style of writing and so with pride Missy decided to simply take that leap of faith and begin contacting publishing houses. With no one immediately clamoring for her brand of writing, Missy decided self-publishing was her best option. Once again, with the support and guidance of her mother, Missy began compiling some of her most heartfelt "Reflections" that are now in her book Blueberry State of Mind, a collection of reflective truths.

A Reflectionist who not only wrote poetry, Missy also lived the very poems gracing her books pages.

With the publishing of her book, Missy now wishes to fulfill other dreams. Dreams of writing a movie based on the very book Blueberry State of Mind. Missy wishes to increase the spotlight on abuse of every form. From sexual to relationship abuse and yes even family abuse, she wishes to bring awareness to all about this disheartening trend.

One of Missy's favorite poems penned by Ms. Angelou is Phenomenal Woman. Missy also has a few penned by herself that touches her to the core. Her Poem entitled Survivor allowed her to embrace her inner demons and do just that. Survive. Missy also loves her poem entitled Gentle Wings, which is a tribute to her mother. Finally able to speak out on her years of abuse at the hands of uncles and the man she gave her heart too; Missy now has started her journey onto healing. Missy's wish is for her words to soothe aching souls while healing wounded hearts.

Blueberry State of Mind, a collection of reflective truths by Missy Smith is the 1st installment in her "Life Poetry" series. With her love of writing growing more and more with each passing day, Missy is now hard at work on her next book of Poetry as well as a fictional Novel. Yes writing has grabbed a hold of Missy and thankfully refuses to let go.

Why I love(d) him

http://www.amazon.com/-/e/B005EGKDQG

OK so I wanted to change things up and write this Reflection on why I love (d) a certain individual who happened to grace my life for a few years. Though we are no longer I wanted to share not just the bad but also the good. Love can be good and for a brief moment between him and I it was.

Enjoy

Why I love (d) him
Missy Smith
All rights reserved


I love (d) you not for the materialistics you enhanced my life with
I love (d) you not for the color of your skin
I love (d) you not for your A list status
I could care less about who you know or knew
I love (d) you for you
For the way your nose would crinkle when smiling
The way your eyes would tear when laughing too hard
The way you would call and say "Hey Mami I just wanted to hear your voice
I love (d) ‘you’ for you
The you who was fearless and full of life
The you who loved old school music and still wore converse just because
The you who made me melt from a single kiss
Who had my soul crazy
Sending my spirit higher and higher
I love (d) you not for the man you were but for the man you are
A love so powerful till this day still shakes my core
And though our love affair is no more
I pray I find again this intensity within my lifetime
And so, if anyone should again ask
Why I love (d) you
I would say with painful joy
Simply because you are beautiful

Lil' Gyrl Blues.... ( A story of Self Discovery and Surviving)

Lil’ Gyrl Blues
Missy Smith
All rights reserved


Sometimes, I allow the past to wreak havoc on my future.
I would revert back to that little girl who was abused physically/ mentally and think that is all I am.
Damaged!

I at times force myself to realize that I am so much more than that.

I am a Strong Intelligent Rising Queen who overcame trials and tribulations showing yes, it can be done.

But then something or someone from my past would throw out subtle reminders that I may not be all that I seem and that I am not as strong as I wish others to believe.

And so I would huddle off into my corner of self doubt, staring off into the window of pains past crying. Pleading to God just let me go.

To drift off into a sleep so deep until awakening was no longer an option. See I am strong just not as strong as I think or thought I was but still strong nonetheless.

And this is the conflictions that I live with which allows my lil' gyrl blues to invade.
Attacking my grown woman joys snatching me back into that place of darkness once more.

Unstable I realized I am but not as unstable as I once was. I need to remember I am someone who yes has been through hell and back making occasional pit stops back to hell here and there but I Survived.

I Survived the abuse, the depression, the fears, the anger, the tears, the self doubts, the loneliness and this is what I need to remind "me" of.

No longer am I that lil' gyrl. I am a Grown Woman who has to finally let go of the past because it does not define ME!

Now is the time for me to put on my big gyrl panties and Woman Up.

Accept the unexpected and learn from it while keeping 'me' moving in a forward direction.

No more will I allow myself to be that victim.
No more will I allow my Surviving to be in vain.
Now from this moment on I am fighting.
Fighting for the chance to be peacefully me.

This is a dedication to all who have been abused mentally and physically and who too struggles daily with doubts of self-worth.

Remember,

YOU ARE SOMEONE AND THAT IS WHAT THEY FEAR(ED)!!!!!

Do you truly know who you are surrounded by?

Do you truly know who you are surrounded by?

In today's society many assume they know with whom they are surrounded by.
But do they really?

There are many who pretend to wish you well, many who will actually celebrate your success having you believe they are indeed happy for you. The reality is they truly are not!

I found out the hard way that those who I had surrounded myself with, only half were truly happy for me while the other half were jealous and vindictive. They would smile in my face, while downing me behind my back.

In March 2011, I published my first book of "Life Poetry" titled Blueberry State of Mind, a collection of reflective truths, Missy Smith @Xlibris.com, Amazon.com, Barnesandnoble.com (shameless plug but hey someone has to do it lol)


During this time many who I thought were well wishers were actually jealous haters.

Yes HATERS!!!!!.

I began getting emails from those I once considered friends who asked, So I guess you think you are all that now? I guess you think you are better than us now? So I guess you will forget all about us little people now?

I laughed it off but then it began to become an everyday thing and it caused me to address these individuals and that is when I found out I was not surrounded by the right people.

I had to truly recognize and realize that some of whom I had surrounded myself around were in fact those I should have never given the time of day.

In the grand scheme of things there are many of you today asking yourself this very question. Am I surrounded by the right people?

Ask yourself these important questions as it will lead to finding out truthfully are you surrounded by those who you are meant to be surrounded by.

(1) When speaking on your blessings and achievements does the individual (s) you are speaking with seem genuinely happy or do they find some way to interject doubt?

(2) Do you notice distance from those you were once close too when blessings abound bestow you?

(3) Do your friends only interact with you when "They" are feeling down?

(4) Do your friends desert you when "You're down?"

(5) Are you the up lifter of the group?

If you answered yes to the majority of these questions then you are not surrounded by the right type of people.

Now I know there are some who are up lifters within their group but ask yourself do others go out their way to uplift you.

An example of realizing if you are surrounded by the right people is if you are constantly feeling as if you are being taken advantage of then "NO" you are not surrounded by the right ones.

If the following statements below rings truth for you then "Yes" you are most definitely surrounded by those who you are meant to be surrounded by.

My friends and I always celebrate each others accomplishments.

My friends and I wish each other well at all times.

My friends and I uplift and inspire each other everyday.

My friends and I love each other through the good and bad.

I have been blessed to come across some amazing people that I can truly call my friends and I have come across those who I simply deem acquaintances. Each knows their roles. It took a long time for me to understand because I am a trusting and yes at times naive woman who loves seeing the good in everyone and yes in a perfect world there would only be good people. But, we do not live in such a world and the reality is evil lurks through even the best of us but do we have to continue having such a thing invade our beings?

At the end of the day I value friendships and I enjoy celebrating my friends’ joys as well as uplifting them when their spirits become low.

And finally I have those around who I am truly meant to be surrounded by.

I thank you all for taking the time to read and I welcome all comments.

Stay tuned for Does your family truly support your dreams?

Creative Luv, Missy

Desire

Happy Saturday everyone. So upon waking this morning I sat on the edge of my bed. Something I do every morning and I had my eyes closed. (This helps with my thinking process lol) and I envisioned myself in a time way before our time of now and these words sprang forth and I decided to share them with everyone on my blog today.
Enjoy

Desire (Time of Past)

Feelings of desire deep inside my soul
Causes trembling at the very thought of you
Passions traveling with urgency
Up anxious thighs
Mmmmmmmm touch me
Do you feel the heat that’s risin'?
The love,
The fire,
Smells of my womanly scent filling the air
School girl like and I do like (it)
Do you know the emotions you've set forth onto me?
Forceful cries begging for touches (yours)
Even if it's just the slightest of them
Subduer of pain that once plagued me,
Replacing it with feelings of undeniable fervor
Unexplainable lust
Pure love
Immaculate lover
Constant hungering for thy King's fervid wrath
Laden with unadulterated ecstasy

It Hurts

Never should abuse be tolerated. It's time we took a stand against abuse of any kind. Here is my story....

The confusion

The misusing

Of my trusting soul

Abusing my being

Ripping me apart

No longer whole

Now thrust into this hole

Black,

Darkness deep

He hit me

A slap was the beginning

Nearly killing me was our ending

Tears falling because I still love you

Believing when you said you only do this to show love

Damn,

I want to be normal

Don't want these scars

Don't want the lies I have to tell

Breakaway, faraway please away from me stay

Didn't know this would be my life

Never knew I'd be too afraid to fight (back)

Broken wings

Had me believing I was nothing

Suppressed my ability to just up and leave

And so I stayed

Endured

Cried

Told the lies

Kept quiet

Dinner on time

Clothes washed and neatly pressed

Laid still as you took me night after night

Until that night it almost became permanent

The punches

The kicking

The spitting

The I hate you's

As I lay silent on the floor gasping for air

Finally realizing I do not want to be here

Eyes closing

Spirit leaving

I'm almost there

Almost free

Freedom

Freedom

Yes,

The light I so clearly saw

Became dark once more

As I heard them say we have a pulse.....

　

The ex affect

The ex affect

I fell in love
Crashed and burned before I could save myself
7 long brutal years of bullshit and sin
Didn't wife me, though he lied and said he would see
He fed me the lines and I memorized them time after time
Dizzy and constipated from his fake ass I love you baby
Got my system overloaded off this dumb shit here
Wide open falling with no safety net
He was that itch I wish I'd never scratched
6'3 devouring my peaches and cream
About the only thing that kept me sing-ing
Guess that's what kept my ass stay-ing
Him playing in the garden which housed my secret treasure
Optical delusions of guilty pleasures
Found myself walking in the opposite direction
Needing another direction from the mess you had me in
Torn between truth and lies
Trying to figure which hurts less
Would it be your touch I miss(ed)?
Our sneaks to the roof or your momma's basement?
Or could I live with the lies
The cheating and misleading
The my battery died in my phone(why you couldn't call)
Or the had to work late excuses
Better yet could I live with letters from your ex?
Or the I'm just there to see my son (CYA= covering your ass)
Damn am I really this dumb?
Or is it my body's just numb?
Too battered to acknowledge the pain
Too tired to continue playing this game
Secret children, marriage to another, the breaking of my heart
All during our 7 together= Reason why you're now "EX"!

why you should buy my book!

Hello everyone, wanted to do another video and this time it focuses on why you should buy my book. I go into detail why you should buy the book as well as how the book came about. I thank you all for listening. Creative Luv, Missy

HE (personal reflection)

Heh everyone, well I always write about the pains of losing love so today I thought I would write about my joys when I "was" in love. The rush, the beauty of it all.
So enjoy

He
By Missy Smith
all rights reserved


He was a beautiful entity
Haunting my spirit sensually
Seducing my mental
Caressing my physical
All things craved by my being
Distance an excitable challenge
For he was hella sexy
Pouring loves rain steadily down my excited soul
Letters relaying sinful thoughts for my eyes only
Red Roof Inn Rendezvous’
4 hours long
Bodies collapsing
Pure exhaustion
Glistening in loves afterglow
Your center encased within my core
Inhaling the scent of you
Causes my intoxication
0.11 way over the legal limits
And yet,
I couldn't put you down
Had to ingest you daily
Sometimes 3, 4 times
Your Mami,
My papi
Hitting notes never knowing existed
The creation of note 13 on (loves) musical scale
Greetings of your kiss
Began my descent into pure bliss
Just the mere thought
And my spine begins tingling
Giggling

That's how I knew I loved you. (back then)

I call on you Poets(Reflectionists and Expressionists)

I wanted to do a tribute to all those before me who have laced page after page with truths of triumphs and trials. Sorrows and Surviving. I thank my inspirations before me who have shown me the way to express my unique gift....

I call on you Poets (Reflectionists and Expressionists)
by Missy Smith
all rights reserved (yes this is copy written) lol

I call on you Poets(Reflectionists and Expressionists) of far
As I wish upon the pens of those before me to shine their energy's
continuously throughout my being
Keeping me sharp with verse
Free flowing with rhyme
Reasons of many
Seasons poetically singing
I call on you Poets(Reflectionists and Expressionists) of far
Loudly,
Hear my pleas
As I drench thy page full of truths
Pictures captured from written tools
Ink spilling diligently across skies that bear my magic
Light years away are thee past this catastrophic (storm)
Brewing inside the mind of this Golden Child
Reflectively Speaking

Heh everyone, first off let me say Happy Tuesday. Yes we made it through another tiring week. So my weekend consisted of me writing for my next book that I am so excited about. Going a little different with this one but still its me 100%. So I have been having these weird dreams about my Ex. (N0 I do not want him back lorrrl) laughing out really really really loud okkkkkkkkkkkk. But I was talking to a friend who told me its because he is thinking of me and those thoughts are being transmitted because he and I were once so close. We shared the same Birthday, was supposed to get married on our Birthdays (guess he forgot that memo he sent me before). But in all honesty it worked out for the best because he showed his true colors. Allowing me to see he was indeed not the man (I use that term very loosely) I was meant to end up with. No, there is a better purpose out here in this universe for me so I happily await it and him. But in the meantime, me thinking of him and our good and bad times brought about this reflection/poem so I needed to write it down and so I share it with all of you. Enjoy
Luv, Missy
P.S. this is my up to dang on long look haahahah

Strong desires
As I replay us back in time
Needs you back then satisfied
I was positively yours
You were negatively mine
Now, she has you
Body, soul and mind
Still, it does not take away the love my heart has/had for you
But for sanity's  sake, I have to let go
Let you go
Keeping the past past while making room for my future
Allowing my wings to strengthen while flying upwards and onwards
Off into brighter skies surrounded by star filled dreams
For your kisses no longer mean to me a thing
Your touches now hers no more do I hunger for
Off now are my rose colored glasses
As I see you completely as meant
No longer my dream
Yet forever my nightmare......